Well, it's been fun kids, but I'm too old for this stuff.
Think I'm going to retire and move to Brazil for some easy poonanny and some fun on the beach.
Peace!
Ace Krauser talks about porn, life, and badass shit.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Saturday, December 20, 2014
If You Want to Be Happy, Move to Brazil
The culture in Brazil is about enjoying life.
They care a lot less about status and money, and more about having fun.
Want to be happy? Move to Brazil.
Friday, December 19, 2014
The Young Turks are Fucking Weird!
I'm sorry, but WTF?
Something is off about them (hey, I know my blog is weird, but you know before you come to my blog it's weird, I'm not hiding anything).
The Young Turks (TYT for short) try to come off as intelligent and hip to the young crowd.
But I think they're just attention whores.
Look at what Ana is wearing in this YouTube video about the frappening. That's the shit girls wear when they want attention.
Wearing glasses when they rarely wear them. Wearing a button up shirt with a lot of the button unbutton and the shirt itself "looks" see-through enough to grab your attention.
Something is off about them (hey, I know my blog is weird, but you know before you come to my blog it's weird, I'm not hiding anything).
The Young Turks (TYT for short) try to come off as intelligent and hip to the young crowd.
But I think they're just attention whores.
Look at what Ana is wearing in this YouTube video about the frappening. That's the shit girls wear when they want attention.
Wearing glasses when they rarely wear them. Wearing a button up shirt with a lot of the button unbutton and the shirt itself "looks" see-through enough to grab your attention.
Now look at this picture. "Master Debate"
The big joke in speech and debate class is that your are a "master debater", as in masturbater.
It's not funny or smart.
It's just weird.
Yes, they have valid points, but they are points you could hear some drunk say at a bar.
They are like the loser kids in high school trying to be cool and intelligent in college, but end up being just lame.
Then there is a blogspot blog promoting the Young Turks as if it were the Young Turks. The blogger claims to have no affiliation, but I don't buy it. I think they created the blog for backlinks and more views. They even have a link at the bottom really pushing the reader to visit the actual Young Turks website. Which, for being a big YouTube voice by a younger generation, looks like shit. They just took some generic template off the internet.
Worst, they put pornography on the site (blogspot site) to get attention. So if it is the Young Turks maintaining it, they really are doing anything and everything to get views.
AKA They are whores!
...I would still fuck Ana though ;P
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Kim Kardashian Gets her Pussy Fucked (Finally a Good Angle)
That Ray J sex tape was shit when it came to fucking her pussy.
The only decent scene was her giving head (but still no cumshot!).
Here we can see her pussy getting fucked properly.
The only decent scene was her giving head (but still no cumshot!).
Here we can see her pussy getting fucked properly.
Check out the video here.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Perverted Cable Corporation Showed a Girl's Pussy and Butthole
From the VH1 Show, Dating Naked. Suppose to be censored...
Ha, you know the producers got off showing it to the world.
You can check out the video here.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Regular Massages can Cause Men to Start to Spontaneously Ejaculate
Yes, it's real.
Basically, massages release more oxytocin (the trust hormone) each time you get one. It is also responsible for erections and ejaculations.
So the more you get massages (especially with the same person), the more likely you will have a spontaneous ejaculation one day (even if your privates are never touched).
You can read more about it at Massage and Wellness.
And you can learn more about how to give orgasms without direct stimulation, here.
Don't laugh ladies, you have a 40% chance of having an orgasm at the gym.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
How to Spread Herpes 101
Proof there are a lot of skanks in the world.
If you want to pull something similar just go to Vince beach.
They're everywhere. Like cockroaches!
Reminds me of how all great empires end with "bread and circuses" as mentioned in the documentary, The Four Horsemen.
Check it out!
Saturday, December 6, 2014
What Going to an Asian Massage Parlor is Like for the First Time
This is very accurate.
Pro tips: empty your wallet except for $100 plus the cost of the massage (put the rest in your car). It'll usually range from $30-60 depending on the how much time you want. Just get the cheapest/shortest.
Ask to see the girl before you pay for the massage. If she is ugly, walk out (I'm not giving $100 to an ugly chick).
If they ask you if you've been there before, the answer always, "YES". If you say no, they'll think you're a noob and a horny loser and will try to get you for $200-300 bucks.
Let her massage you for like 5-10 minutes (so she doesn't think you are a complete perv and she doesn't feel like she is being completely used...even though she is).
If you are a shy guy, you'll have to find some guts here (a few girls will be aggressive, but most of them like to play dumb). Just say, "I want everything". You'll sound retarded, but don't worry she can barely understand english. She'll say, "everything?" Then you say, "Yes everything" then point at her vagina.
If you don't do this, she'll try to negotiate a handjob, then blowjob, and then fucking, increasing the price on you each time. Once she gives the price for sex, (in my experience will usually be around $150), you say all you have is $100.
Get off the table, get your wallet and show her. If she protests or offers less (handjob or blowjob) be adamant and say that is all you have and you want sex or nothing at all.
If all you want is a BJ, do the same trick but with $80. If you try to negotiate down from a fuck to BJ for less money, you might piss her off (you can go somewhere else, but you've lost about $40 at that point).
She'll take your $100...and well the rest is up to you.
P.S. If they like you, they might throw in a free table shower. If they do take it!
Disclaimer: the above was just for entertainment purposes you freak!
Pro tips: empty your wallet except for $100 plus the cost of the massage (put the rest in your car). It'll usually range from $30-60 depending on the how much time you want. Just get the cheapest/shortest.
Ask to see the girl before you pay for the massage. If she is ugly, walk out (I'm not giving $100 to an ugly chick).
If they ask you if you've been there before, the answer always, "YES". If you say no, they'll think you're a noob and a horny loser and will try to get you for $200-300 bucks.
Let her massage you for like 5-10 minutes (so she doesn't think you are a complete perv and she doesn't feel like she is being completely used...even though she is).
If you are a shy guy, you'll have to find some guts here (a few girls will be aggressive, but most of them like to play dumb). Just say, "I want everything". You'll sound retarded, but don't worry she can barely understand english. She'll say, "everything?" Then you say, "Yes everything" then point at her vagina.
If you don't do this, she'll try to negotiate a handjob, then blowjob, and then fucking, increasing the price on you each time. Once she gives the price for sex, (in my experience will usually be around $150), you say all you have is $100.
Get off the table, get your wallet and show her. If she protests or offers less (handjob or blowjob) be adamant and say that is all you have and you want sex or nothing at all.
If all you want is a BJ, do the same trick but with $80. If you try to negotiate down from a fuck to BJ for less money, you might piss her off (you can go somewhere else, but you've lost about $40 at that point).
She'll take your $100...and well the rest is up to you.
P.S. If they like you, they might throw in a free table shower. If they do take it!
Disclaimer: the above was just for entertainment purposes you freak!
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Kathy Griffin Ice Bucket Challenge Naked
54 by the way!
A lot hotter than Carrie Fisher's 58 year old ugly body.
And Aubrey Plaza looks fucking hot with glasses!
And Aubrey Plaza looks fucking hot with glasses!
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
New Star Wars Movie is Coming Out
Carrie Fisher is going to be in it.
Not that Carrie Fisher.
This Carrie Fisher:
And now the Stars Wars Dark Emperor laughs at you,
"HAHAHA...HAHAHAHAH"
Monday, December 1, 2014
Guys Give it Up if the Girl is Hot, Girls Give it Up if the Car is Hot (Proof)
Well, I am a little surprised.
I need money... :(
I need money... :(
Why Does This Give Me a Boner Every Time I Watch It?
I think its because you can cum inside them all you want and you don't have to worry about getting them pregnant.
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